Our Differences

Habari,

For weeks now I have been trying to figure out how to share my boardroom experiences with all of you without uncovering too much of IBM’s corporate culture.  What I’ve come to realize is that what we are experiencing here isn’t the IBM culture at all.  You see, there is a certain protocol that is used when conducting yourself in a business environment.  At least, that is what I was always taught.  Even the most nonchalant Dilbert wannabe among us, knows how to straighten up and conduct ourselves appropriately in a boardroom meeting.  This sense of heightened awareness is increased two fold when there is an executive present. 

Now, I understand that I’m in a multicultural environment and I’ve tried to take that into account as I experience this, but, I’ve encountered all of these cultures in boardrooms in the U.S and I haven’t seen anything like this.  Usually in an outsourcing deal, the relationship between the Outsourcer (IBM) and the Outsourced (the client IT department), is like a dysfunctional family where most of the children were given to an orphanage and a few were kept by the parents.  Okay you know what; Master Pu won’t let me tell that story.  Any who, the outsourcing relationship is supposed to be a partnership, but it takes time to develop. 

A few weeks ago I was summoned to a Saturday meeting where the client would be present.  Usually our weekend torture sessions are reserved for IBMers.  This time it included the client and some of our vendors.  I was expecting a more formal environment with presentations, pleasantries and order. Well, first of all, the presentations that some of my colleagues painstakingly put together were not allowed to be reviewed. 

They were instructed to just talk about the subject so there could be an open dialogue.  At that moment I was thankful I wasn’t the person presenting, because I would have been pissed and the tone for the day would have been set.  We would have had to have an open dialogue with my presentation as a slide show in the background.  I mean, these presentations take a long time to put together and to have them thrown aside and to have your Saturday taken away would just put a bitter taste in my mouth.

On the issue of pleasantries and order…HA!  I have never experienced so much chaos and disorder in the presence of Directors, Vice President and Managing Directors in my entire corporate career.   And all of the aforementioned executives were either complicit in or active participants of the chaos.  Master Pu kept watching my reaction to the mayhem.  During one of the few breaks we had, he could not contain his laughter as he came over to me to gauge my reaction.  It was like I was watching the human version of cock fight.  First of all, there is no such thing as allowing an individual to speak without interruption.  Everyone speaks over everyone and the tone in which they talk to each other is so aggressive that it’s hard to determine if you should be offended or ready to fight.  LOL.

Usually there is a gathering before the client meeting to make sure the team is on the same page and I’m sure the client does the same thing.  You would never believe there was any alliance at all as you watched the fur fly in this meeting.  Members of the same team jumped on each other and called each other a lie.  SMH.  Even Master Pu was asked if he was calling the client a lie.  I had to laugh at that one.  The level of yelling reached a pitch that would make you believe you were in an asylum.  

I couldn’t stop shaking my head in disbelief.  I was paralyzed by the display.  It was hard to understand where to jump in or if you should jump in at all.  Master Pu has said several times that he won’t be employable when he returns the States.  I can completely understand that statement now, because in order for you to adapt here and get the job done, you have to lay down all of business etiquette you’ve learned and get ready to rumble.  I’ve told Master Pu I refuse to submit to this altered reality…I need a job when I get back home!! LOL 

Ok folks, I’ve tried to give you a glimpse into the corporate culture here.  Now, I guess I should be clear, the brawlers in the boardroom here aren’t Africans.  My colleagues further east are the real culprits…you all know who you areJ.  That’s it for me this week.  Stay tuned.

Asante sana,

Della Rochelle

Copyright © 2011 by Della Rochelle Williams